How to Cowork with Your Significant Other…Without Losing Your Mind
Written by Neena Hogle
In these days of closed offices, canceled gatherings, and limited travel, more people working remotely. As such, there's been a lot of advice online on “how to work from home effectively”. The majority of the advice is the same: put on real clothes, set up a space that is not your bed, and go about your routine as though you’re actually going IN to work. If you live with your significant other, it might not be quite that simple.
Working from home with your significant other can be an eye-opening experience for couples who are used to being apart 40+ hours a week. Now that Stay at Home orders have forced many couples together 24/7, we’re learning all sorts of fascinating things about the people we live with. Some good. Some bad.
And some frustrating - like when your partner excitedly barges into a room to show you the video of the penguins touring an aquarium - which we have all seen - interrupting your train of thought for the fifth time while you try to draft a delicate email to your boss.
And some just plain hilarious - Deputy Editor at InStyle, Laura Norkin, took to Twitter to share something that she’d discovered about her husband. “A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a ‘let’s circle back’ guy—who knew?”
Writer, Keith Pandolfi, tweeted, “To my wife, who has a much more important job than I do—I am simply a lazy coworker who always wants to talk about my inner life and what I just saw on the internet while she's actually trying to get shit done. If I worked for her she would fire me.”
To figure out some coping strategies, I talked to a bunch of people who work from home alongside their partners normally (before COVID-19) to see what it’s like and how they make it work – and here are five tips that I composed from their advice.
Don’t Distract Each Other
I still remember when my partner and I started dating at work – suffice it to say it was very distracting. So, while it’s obvious that you need to give your partner space during conference calls and important meetings, you should also respect their work hours throughout the day. You are coworkers now, so get used to asking coworker-type questions like, “Do you have a minute?” rather than barging into the room to show them the video of the penguins touring an aquarium - which we have all seen by the way.
Your productivity working from home may change compared to the office—in either direction. That’s okay. You aren’t working every single moment you’re in an office, so give yourself and your partner a break if you two get off track.
Post Your Office Hours
You should maintain a work schedule when you working from home – and not only should you stick to your schedule - but you should communicate with your partner each morning about what the day looks like, and remind them of any important calls you might have where you’ll need extra quiet or no interruptions. My partner knows when my office door is closed that I am working – but so he knows when it’s not safe to interrupt I post meetings and calls on a dry erase board outside my office. You can share a Google calendar or even write your schedule out on a piece of paper and stick it to the fridge.
If one of you is more prone to distraction and the other needs complete quiet to focus, schedule some planned breaks to talk to one another and check in so that you aren’t hurting anyone’s productivity.
Separate Workspaces
The idea of coworking and might be romantic, but it’s not great for actually getting any work done. If you have room in your house: separate workspaces. If possible, avoid the kitchen – this can serve as a great neutral break space - but if that’s where you have to work, it is what it is. If you are working in the same room, try to carve out some specific “space” that is yours alone, consider using headphones, and be extra respectful about noise and interruptions.
End the Day at The End of the Day.
As an entrepreneur, I can tell you one of the hardest parts of working remotely is the blurred lines between work and personal life. Do your best to turn off work when it’s over. Reverse the advice above; after work, take a shower, change clothes, take a walk, pour a drink - do something that will signifies the end of your work day for yourself – and for your partner.
Take Lunches and Walks Together.
You don’t have to totally isolate yourself from your partner. If you want to take advantage of the fact that you get time together that you usually don’t – schedule time. Schedule time to have lunch together – or breaks to chat about the adorable penguins touring the aquarium, because admittedly, who can get enough of that? – or take a walk together. Scheduling time to spend with your partner will not only increase your productivity, it will also make the time together more important.